Eat for the health of it.
This farmer had a large farm pond and one night as he was out checking things over, he noticed some young gals were swimming in his pond and he noticed that they had removed their clothing and were presumed naked. As he stood and watched them they hollered to the farmer, "We are not going to come out until you go away. We know you just want to see us naked."
The farmer answered,"No, I don't care if you want to swim in my pond because I just came out to feed my alligator."
I think he knew what was going to happen.hahaha.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
can't go?
Eat for the health of it.
If you have problems moving your bowels, try some Psyllium Husk capsuls and Magnesium. I get them at the healthfood store. Ask questions if you want to know more, they are very helpful. Drink plenty of water with the Psyllium because the capsuls use plenty of water to do there work and you don't want them caught half way down.
If you enjoy eating good healthy food please try my all natural cookbook GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN# 0-8059-6286-7. You may order at: www.dorrancepublishing.com or phone at: 1-800-788-7654 or you may order at: Amazon.com, Books-a-million.com, BarnsandNoble.com.
Laughter is healthy:
Four little boys were discussing the fact that noone wanted to play with them and they soon decided that they were not baptised and they did not go to church so they ran down to the church on the corner and went inside where the janitor was working. The boys explained the situation to the janitor and they asked him if he would baptise them.
The janitor said, "Sure." He took them into the bathroom and stuck there heads into the toilet stool, and said,"There you are all baptised."
They went outside and discussed what religion they were.
The first boy says,"We're not katlics, because they pour the water on your head."
The second boy says,"We're not Baptiss, because they put you in the water."
The third boy says,"We're not Methdiss, because they sprinkle water on you."
The smallest boy of the group said,"Didn't you smell that water?"
They all answered, "Yeah! What does that mean?"
The little guy answers,"I think it means we are pisskopalians,"
If you have problems moving your bowels, try some Psyllium Husk capsuls and Magnesium. I get them at the healthfood store. Ask questions if you want to know more, they are very helpful. Drink plenty of water with the Psyllium because the capsuls use plenty of water to do there work and you don't want them caught half way down.
If you enjoy eating good healthy food please try my all natural cookbook GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN# 0-8059-6286-7. You may order at: www.dorrancepublishing.com or phone at: 1-800-788-7654 or you may order at: Amazon.com, Books-a-million.com, BarnsandNoble.com.
Laughter is healthy:
Four little boys were discussing the fact that noone wanted to play with them and they soon decided that they were not baptised and they did not go to church so they ran down to the church on the corner and went inside where the janitor was working. The boys explained the situation to the janitor and they asked him if he would baptise them.
The janitor said, "Sure." He took them into the bathroom and stuck there heads into the toilet stool, and said,"There you are all baptised."
They went outside and discussed what religion they were.
The first boy says,"We're not katlics, because they pour the water on your head."
The second boy says,"We're not Baptiss, because they put you in the water."
The third boy says,"We're not Methdiss, because they sprinkle water on you."
The smallest boy of the group said,"Didn't you smell that water?"
They all answered, "Yeah! What does that mean?"
The little guy answers,"I think it means we are pisskopalians,"
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
chapped lips
Eat for the health of it.
If you like being in the sun or outside be sure to use lip gloss at least half hour before going outside. Keep reapplying it if you are out for very long. I hate it when my lips get all cracked and sore. I guess I didn't put enough on or not often enough. Most of the lip balms contain soothing relief and protection but you have to put it on a lot. I thought if I put it on once it would last the 1/2 hour I would be out there but my lips are cracked and dry or I used the wrong kind. I'll have to check into that. It feels like they are healing.
I want to thank whom ever bought my books. I really appreciate it. There is a lot of recipes in my book that can really help you be more healthy. They are chemical free if you follow the recipes. For anyone interested in GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. Please order at:www.Dorrancepublishing.com or Phone at: 1-800-788-7654.
I wrote this book because I found out that I was allergic to all the chemicals they are putting in our food and it is getting worse all the time. The most recent allergic reaction I had is from the genetically altered soybeans. I asked at the time they came out with them, "What would stop them from mixing those altered beans with the safe edible beans?" They can say, 'it won't happen,' but I have been in many elevators and I can see where this could happen easily. Even on the farm, if a farmer has a strip of beans left that are roundup ready beans and he can't fit it on his load, do you think he would say, "What's going to hurt if I dump these on my other load with the edible beans?" It has happened so I know it's in there because I get sick when I eat anything that contains these roundup ready soy products. It's very painful. I play Russian Roulette every time I eat something with soy products in it. I have to find someone that knows where to send a letter to. I doubt it will make any difference anyway.But I want to try.
Laughter is healthy:
A woman is rummaging through the turkeys in the case at the grocery store and cannot find one large enough for her family. She asks the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The boy replies, "No ma'am they're dead." BOOOooo I know that was really bad but it's late and I am very tired. Good night.
If you like being in the sun or outside be sure to use lip gloss at least half hour before going outside. Keep reapplying it if you are out for very long. I hate it when my lips get all cracked and sore. I guess I didn't put enough on or not often enough. Most of the lip balms contain soothing relief and protection but you have to put it on a lot. I thought if I put it on once it would last the 1/2 hour I would be out there but my lips are cracked and dry or I used the wrong kind. I'll have to check into that. It feels like they are healing.
I want to thank whom ever bought my books. I really appreciate it. There is a lot of recipes in my book that can really help you be more healthy. They are chemical free if you follow the recipes. For anyone interested in GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. Please order at:www.Dorrancepublishing.com or Phone at: 1-800-788-7654.
I wrote this book because I found out that I was allergic to all the chemicals they are putting in our food and it is getting worse all the time. The most recent allergic reaction I had is from the genetically altered soybeans. I asked at the time they came out with them, "What would stop them from mixing those altered beans with the safe edible beans?" They can say, 'it won't happen,' but I have been in many elevators and I can see where this could happen easily. Even on the farm, if a farmer has a strip of beans left that are roundup ready beans and he can't fit it on his load, do you think he would say, "What's going to hurt if I dump these on my other load with the edible beans?" It has happened so I know it's in there because I get sick when I eat anything that contains these roundup ready soy products. It's very painful. I play Russian Roulette every time I eat something with soy products in it. I have to find someone that knows where to send a letter to. I doubt it will make any difference anyway.But I want to try.
Laughter is healthy:
A woman is rummaging through the turkeys in the case at the grocery store and cannot find one large enough for her family. She asks the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The boy replies, "No ma'am they're dead." BOOOooo I know that was really bad but it's late and I am very tired. Good night.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
just a joke
Eat for the health of it.
An attorney gets home late from work after spending the day trying to get a stay of execution for his client, he was worn out and depressed. His wife had thoughts of him cheating on her and begins to question him,"Where were you? Why are you so late? Now your dinner is cold."
He ignores her; pours himself a drink and goes upstairs to take a shower. The phone rings while he is upstairs and his wife takes the message."Tell your husband that they are not hanging Jim Wright tonight. The judge ordered a stay of execution."
His wife feels bad that she was so hard on him after having a long day. She runs upstairs and opens the bathroom door and finds her husband bent over drying his feet and legs.
She quickly tells him,"They are not hanging Wright tonight."
He whirled around and yelled,"for cripes sake woman can you think of anything else to complain about?"
An attorney gets home late from work after spending the day trying to get a stay of execution for his client, he was worn out and depressed. His wife had thoughts of him cheating on her and begins to question him,"Where were you? Why are you so late? Now your dinner is cold."
He ignores her; pours himself a drink and goes upstairs to take a shower. The phone rings while he is upstairs and his wife takes the message."Tell your husband that they are not hanging Jim Wright tonight. The judge ordered a stay of execution."
His wife feels bad that she was so hard on him after having a long day. She runs upstairs and opens the bathroom door and finds her husband bent over drying his feet and legs.
She quickly tells him,"They are not hanging Wright tonight."
He whirled around and yelled,"for cripes sake woman can you think of anything else to complain about?"
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Are you planning a trip to the mountains?
Eat for the health of it.
If you are going into the mountains for the first time, you may want to try spending a half day at a time until you adjust to the altitude. If you have flown a few times it may not bother you if you passed that with flying colors.
If this is your first time and you experience flu like symptoms, shortness of breath, headaches and nausea, loss of appetite, it could be from the altitude.You may want to go back to the lower grounds and start again the next day. Drink plenty of liquids. Be sure to eat good too. Don't smoke. If you experience a constant cough, vomit or become confused, dizzy or short of breath, get medical care, you could get a buildup of fluid in your lungs or brain.
I am hoping that you will eat all natural and stick with healthy foods all the time for better health. If you don't really know what is all natural I would like you to try my all natural cookbook: GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK by Teresa Thompson, ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. It is available at: www.dorrancepublishing.com, phone number is: 1-800-788-7654. It is available at Bassettes Healthfood store in Toledo, Ohio on Secor road between Sylvania Avenue and Executive Parkway. It is also available at:BarnsandNoble.com, Books-a-million.com. Amazonbooks.com and Abebooks.com. This makes a nice gift for any occasion and especially for someone that has allergies or just wants to eat healthy.
Another book that is very interesting to read is: 'Under Obligation' by Trishianna Rose Roberts,ISBN#1-58736-601-0 available at: www.wheatmark.com, abebooks.com, Books-a-million.com ISBN#978-1587366010 and BarnesandNoble.com ISBN#978-1587366010.
Laughter is healthy:
A man goes to the barber shop for a shave. As the barber is lathering his face with the foam, he mentions that he always has a hard time getting a close shave around his cheeks.
"I have just the thing for that," says the barber. He hands him a small round wooden ball and tells him, "Just place this ball between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber gives him the closest shave he has ever had.
After awhile the client asked in his garbled speech,"What if I swallow this?"
"No problem, just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
If you are going into the mountains for the first time, you may want to try spending a half day at a time until you adjust to the altitude. If you have flown a few times it may not bother you if you passed that with flying colors.
If this is your first time and you experience flu like symptoms, shortness of breath, headaches and nausea, loss of appetite, it could be from the altitude.You may want to go back to the lower grounds and start again the next day. Drink plenty of liquids. Be sure to eat good too. Don't smoke. If you experience a constant cough, vomit or become confused, dizzy or short of breath, get medical care, you could get a buildup of fluid in your lungs or brain.
I am hoping that you will eat all natural and stick with healthy foods all the time for better health. If you don't really know what is all natural I would like you to try my all natural cookbook: GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK by Teresa Thompson, ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. It is available at: www.dorrancepublishing.com, phone number is: 1-800-788-7654. It is available at Bassettes Healthfood store in Toledo, Ohio on Secor road between Sylvania Avenue and Executive Parkway. It is also available at:BarnsandNoble.com, Books-a-million.com. Amazonbooks.com and Abebooks.com. This makes a nice gift for any occasion and especially for someone that has allergies or just wants to eat healthy.
Another book that is very interesting to read is: 'Under Obligation' by Trishianna Rose Roberts,ISBN#1-58736-601-0 available at: www.wheatmark.com, abebooks.com, Books-a-million.com ISBN#978-1587366010 and BarnesandNoble.com ISBN#978-1587366010.
Laughter is healthy:
A man goes to the barber shop for a shave. As the barber is lathering his face with the foam, he mentions that he always has a hard time getting a close shave around his cheeks.
"I have just the thing for that," says the barber. He hands him a small round wooden ball and tells him, "Just place this ball between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber gives him the closest shave he has ever had.
After awhile the client asked in his garbled speech,"What if I swallow this?"
"No problem, just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
Monday, February 14, 2011
just time for a joke
Eat for the health of it.
Several men were sitting in the locker room and suddenly a phone on the bench begins to ring. A man picks it up and says,"Hello?"
"Honey, it's me, are you at the gym?"
"Yes."
"I'm at the mall and I saw this beautiful mink coat. Can I please buy it?"
"How much is it?"
"$1500."
"Okay, if you like it that much."
"I also saw that Mercedes at the dealership and it's got a really good price on it."
"How much?"
"Only $60,000."
"Okay, but make sure it has all the options."
"One more thing,I stopped at the real estate office and that house we looked at is marked down to $350,000."
"Go ahead and get it."
"Okay dear, I'll see you at home."
The guy hangs up and asks, "Does anyone here own this phone?"
Several men were sitting in the locker room and suddenly a phone on the bench begins to ring. A man picks it up and says,"Hello?"
"Honey, it's me, are you at the gym?"
"Yes."
"I'm at the mall and I saw this beautiful mink coat. Can I please buy it?"
"How much is it?"
"$1500."
"Okay, if you like it that much."
"I also saw that Mercedes at the dealership and it's got a really good price on it."
"How much?"
"Only $60,000."
"Okay, but make sure it has all the options."
"One more thing,I stopped at the real estate office and that house we looked at is marked down to $350,000."
"Go ahead and get it."
"Okay dear, I'll see you at home."
The guy hangs up and asks, "Does anyone here own this phone?"
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Just time for a joke
Eat for the health of it.
The husband is met by his sobbing wife as he opens the door and enters. She is upset as she tells him,"The pharmacist was nasty to me and I have been upset all day."
Immediately the husband drives to the drugstore and confronts the pharmacist.
The pharmacist explains," Please listen to my side of the story. This morning my alarm failed to go off,so I was late.I left without breakfast and in my hurry, I left the keys in the house and the door was locked and I couldn't get back into the house to get the car keys. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving too fast to get to work I got a speeding ticket. Three blocks from work I got a flat tire. I was met at the door with several people waiting for me to open up. Then the phone was ringing constantly. When I was making change for a customer I had to break open a roll of nickles and they spilled on the floor and as I was on the floor picking up the nickles the phone rang and I bumped my head on the drawer and that caused me to stagger and I backed into a shelf of perfume and they fell on the floor and broke two of the best perfumes. The phone was still ringing and when I answered it and it was your wife and she asked me how to use the rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I told her."
The husband is met by his sobbing wife as he opens the door and enters. She is upset as she tells him,"The pharmacist was nasty to me and I have been upset all day."
Immediately the husband drives to the drugstore and confronts the pharmacist.
The pharmacist explains," Please listen to my side of the story. This morning my alarm failed to go off,so I was late.I left without breakfast and in my hurry, I left the keys in the house and the door was locked and I couldn't get back into the house to get the car keys. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving too fast to get to work I got a speeding ticket. Three blocks from work I got a flat tire. I was met at the door with several people waiting for me to open up. Then the phone was ringing constantly. When I was making change for a customer I had to break open a roll of nickles and they spilled on the floor and as I was on the floor picking up the nickles the phone rang and I bumped my head on the drawer and that caused me to stagger and I backed into a shelf of perfume and they fell on the floor and broke two of the best perfumes. The phone was still ringing and when I answered it and it was your wife and she asked me how to use the rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I told her."
Joke only
Eat for the health of it.
God is looking down on earth and He sees all of the rascally behavior that is going on. He decides to send an angel down to check it out.
When the angel returns, he tells God, "Yes, it is bad on earth, 95% of the people are misbehaving and 5% are not."
God thinks for a moment and decides to send another angel to get a second opinion.
When the second angel returns and verifies what the first angel tells Him, "Yes, the earth has declined, 95% are misbehaving and 5% are still good."
God is not pleased, so he emails the 5% to encourage them to keep up the good work.
Do you know what the email said? I didn't get one either.
God is looking down on earth and He sees all of the rascally behavior that is going on. He decides to send an angel down to check it out.
When the angel returns, he tells God, "Yes, it is bad on earth, 95% of the people are misbehaving and 5% are not."
God thinks for a moment and decides to send another angel to get a second opinion.
When the second angel returns and verifies what the first angel tells Him, "Yes, the earth has declined, 95% are misbehaving and 5% are still good."
God is not pleased, so he emails the 5% to encourage them to keep up the good work.
Do you know what the email said? I didn't get one either.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Do you have acne?
Eat for the health of it.
Whiteheads are plugged pores. Do not squeeze them. Sgueezing causes inflamation. If the pimple has already gotten an infection and has turned yellow from the puss, take a warm wet washcloth and place it on the area for a few minutes and then take a sterilzed needle and prick it and sqeeze the pus out using a tissue or a gauze. It should heal but it may take some time.
Blackheads are plugs of oil and should not be squeezed. This can cause scarring. You can remove blackheads with an extractor that you can buy at a drugstore. Again you should place a warm wet washcloth on the area first.
Try to control blemishes with medicated lotions.Try benzoyl peroxide. Don't leave it on too long or it may irritate the skin and just cover the affected area. You can leave it on for maybe an hour or so then wash it off.
Use a hypoallergenic moisturizer. Also use hypoallergenic makeup and suntan lotion.
Eating good all natural foods will also help keep a smooth skin and if you eat all natural it will also keep you looking younger.
You can learn to eat all natural from my all natural cookbook, GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. Available at: www.dorrancepublishing.com, Phone # 1-800-788-7654, Available at Bassettes Healthfood store in Toledo, Ohio on Secor Road between Sylvania Avenue and Executive Parkway. Also available at: Books-a-million.com, BarnsandNoble.com.
Laughter is healthy:
This young woman went to confession and told the priest, "Father, I have sinned."
The priest told her,"Go ahead and tell me your sins."
The young lady said,"Last night my boyfriend and I made mad passionate love seven times."
The priest said," I want you to go home and squeeze 7 lemons and I want you to drink the juice."
The young lady asked, "Father, will this cleanse me of my sins?"
The priest answered,"No, but it will wipe that smile off your face."
Whiteheads are plugged pores. Do not squeeze them. Sgueezing causes inflamation. If the pimple has already gotten an infection and has turned yellow from the puss, take a warm wet washcloth and place it on the area for a few minutes and then take a sterilzed needle and prick it and sqeeze the pus out using a tissue or a gauze. It should heal but it may take some time.
Blackheads are plugs of oil and should not be squeezed. This can cause scarring. You can remove blackheads with an extractor that you can buy at a drugstore. Again you should place a warm wet washcloth on the area first.
Try to control blemishes with medicated lotions.Try benzoyl peroxide. Don't leave it on too long or it may irritate the skin and just cover the affected area. You can leave it on for maybe an hour or so then wash it off.
Use a hypoallergenic moisturizer. Also use hypoallergenic makeup and suntan lotion.
Eating good all natural foods will also help keep a smooth skin and if you eat all natural it will also keep you looking younger.
You can learn to eat all natural from my all natural cookbook, GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. Available at: www.dorrancepublishing.com, Phone # 1-800-788-7654, Available at Bassettes Healthfood store in Toledo, Ohio on Secor Road between Sylvania Avenue and Executive Parkway. Also available at: Books-a-million.com, BarnsandNoble.com.
Laughter is healthy:
This young woman went to confession and told the priest, "Father, I have sinned."
The priest told her,"Go ahead and tell me your sins."
The young lady said,"Last night my boyfriend and I made mad passionate love seven times."
The priest said," I want you to go home and squeeze 7 lemons and I want you to drink the juice."
The young lady asked, "Father, will this cleanse me of my sins?"
The priest answered,"No, but it will wipe that smile off your face."
just a joke tonight
Eat for the health of it.
This guy goes into a bar and notices a large jar and it's filled with money on the end of the bar. He asks the bartender what the jar is for. The bartender says,"you have to pay $10 and then you have to do three things and if you can do them you will get the money in the jar and a new car. The guy thinks, that would be great, then asks the bartender,"What do I have to do?" The bartender says, "You have to pay the money first." The guy agrees and asks,"Now what do I do?"
The bartender tells him that he has to drink a bottle of tequila, then there is a Pitt bull chained in the back yard and he has a bad tooth and he will have to pull the tooth and third; there is a ninty year old virgin upstairs and he would have to take care of her needs.
The guy drinks the bottle of tequila; there is a lot of noise coming from the back of the bar and after awhile the guy comes in all scratched and bitten, he asks,"Now where is that old lady that needs a tooth pulled?"
This guy goes into a bar and notices a large jar and it's filled with money on the end of the bar. He asks the bartender what the jar is for. The bartender says,"you have to pay $10 and then you have to do three things and if you can do them you will get the money in the jar and a new car. The guy thinks, that would be great, then asks the bartender,"What do I have to do?" The bartender says, "You have to pay the money first." The guy agrees and asks,"Now what do I do?"
The bartender tells him that he has to drink a bottle of tequila, then there is a Pitt bull chained in the back yard and he has a bad tooth and he will have to pull the tooth and third; there is a ninty year old virgin upstairs and he would have to take care of her needs.
The guy drinks the bottle of tequila; there is a lot of noise coming from the back of the bar and after awhile the guy comes in all scratched and bitten, he asks,"Now where is that old lady that needs a tooth pulled?"
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Are pregnant women getting to many chemicals?
Eat for the health of it.
I just have to send the high lights of this email letter I received. It makes me sick to think that pregnant mom's may not even know that they are harming their babies before they are even born.
This artical claims that a study was done on 268 pregnant women, and they found 43 risky chemicals in nearly all of them. So they decided that pregnant women should eat less fat. Pregnant women or at least the baby needs this fat. Fats are essential in the development of the fetus and it is crutial for the babies developement. Breast milk doesn't come in fat free. So don't avoid fats,,, avoid plastics, cans, processed foods, soy, sunscreen, and watch the shampoos and soaps. It would be best if you would go to the health food store and get soaps and shampoos. I would even suggest you be very careful and eat all natural foods. Think of the baby. What you eat, the baby eats.
I can help you with all natural cooking because I am allergic to all of these nasty chemicals they put in our food and I wrote a book on all natural cooking. If you are interested it is : GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. You may order at: www.dorrancepublishing.com. Phone#1-800-788-7654. Also available at: BarnesandNoble.com, Books-a-million.com.
Laughter is healthy:
A man goes skydiving for the first time and after listening to every detail of the instructor and he tells the instructor that he is ready. He is excited as he jumps from the plane and after a short time he pulls the cord but nothing happens. He tries again and still nothing happens. He starts to panic and then he remembers his back-up shoot. He pulls on it too but still nothing happens. He looks down and can't believe what he is seeing, a guy is flying upward.As he is even with him he asks the guy,"Do you know anything about skydiving?"
He answers,"No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
I just have to send the high lights of this email letter I received. It makes me sick to think that pregnant mom's may not even know that they are harming their babies before they are even born.
This artical claims that a study was done on 268 pregnant women, and they found 43 risky chemicals in nearly all of them. So they decided that pregnant women should eat less fat. Pregnant women or at least the baby needs this fat. Fats are essential in the development of the fetus and it is crutial for the babies developement. Breast milk doesn't come in fat free. So don't avoid fats,,, avoid plastics, cans, processed foods, soy, sunscreen, and watch the shampoos and soaps. It would be best if you would go to the health food store and get soaps and shampoos. I would even suggest you be very careful and eat all natural foods. Think of the baby. What you eat, the baby eats.
I can help you with all natural cooking because I am allergic to all of these nasty chemicals they put in our food and I wrote a book on all natural cooking. If you are interested it is : GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. You may order at: www.dorrancepublishing.com. Phone#1-800-788-7654. Also available at: BarnesandNoble.com, Books-a-million.com.
Laughter is healthy:
A man goes skydiving for the first time and after listening to every detail of the instructor and he tells the instructor that he is ready. He is excited as he jumps from the plane and after a short time he pulls the cord but nothing happens. He tries again and still nothing happens. He starts to panic and then he remembers his back-up shoot. He pulls on it too but still nothing happens. He looks down and can't believe what he is seeing, a guy is flying upward.As he is even with him he asks the guy,"Do you know anything about skydiving?"
He answers,"No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
Thursday, February 3, 2011
caffeine, is it good for you?
Eat for the health of it.
I used to drink a lot of coffee with caffeine in it and I got lumps in my breasts, I tell you that scared me. I thought for sure I had cancer. The lumps were removed and they were benign. But I was told not to drink anything with caffeine in it. It was difficult at first because I had know idea that I was actually addicted to caffeine. I had to have my first cup of coffee with the caffeine and then the rest of my coffee for the day was decaf. I am down to drinking two cups of decaf coffee now and I am doing fine with that. I guess I never realized that the caffeine in the regular coffee was a stimulent. Since I have had all these allergies to chemicals too, I just eat all natural foods and drinks and all of my stats are great. No High blood pressure,my stomach doesn't bother me only when I overeat. I don't get headaches if I don't get my coffee. Do remember that a lot of foods and drinks have caffeine in them too.Coffee, tea, cocoa, chocolate milk, soft drinks, also prescription drugs, over the counter meds etc. ask the druggist if you are allergic to caffeine or if you aren't supposed to use it.
If you want to eat all natural try my all natural cookbook GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN# 0-8059-6286-7. Available at: www.dorrancepublishing.com, phone number: 1-800-788-7654. Also available at: Books-a-million.com, Abebooks.com, BarnsandNoble.com.
Laughter is healthy:
An advertising team is working very late at night because the project was due for the next morning, suddenly a genie appears and offers them a wish.
The copywriter says,"I would like to go to a tropical island so I can write my great American novel."
The genie says," No problem and poof he's gone.
The art director says,"I want to create a beautiful painting and hang it in the museum in Paris."
The genie says,"Your wish is granted." and poof, he was gone.
The genie asks the account executive,"And what is your wish?"
The account executive says,"I want those two jerks back here right now."
I used to drink a lot of coffee with caffeine in it and I got lumps in my breasts, I tell you that scared me. I thought for sure I had cancer. The lumps were removed and they were benign. But I was told not to drink anything with caffeine in it. It was difficult at first because I had know idea that I was actually addicted to caffeine. I had to have my first cup of coffee with the caffeine and then the rest of my coffee for the day was decaf. I am down to drinking two cups of decaf coffee now and I am doing fine with that. I guess I never realized that the caffeine in the regular coffee was a stimulent. Since I have had all these allergies to chemicals too, I just eat all natural foods and drinks and all of my stats are great. No High blood pressure,my stomach doesn't bother me only when I overeat. I don't get headaches if I don't get my coffee. Do remember that a lot of foods and drinks have caffeine in them too.Coffee, tea, cocoa, chocolate milk, soft drinks, also prescription drugs, over the counter meds etc. ask the druggist if you are allergic to caffeine or if you aren't supposed to use it.
If you want to eat all natural try my all natural cookbook GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN# 0-8059-6286-7. Available at: www.dorrancepublishing.com, phone number: 1-800-788-7654. Also available at: Books-a-million.com, Abebooks.com, BarnsandNoble.com.
Laughter is healthy:
An advertising team is working very late at night because the project was due for the next morning, suddenly a genie appears and offers them a wish.
The copywriter says,"I would like to go to a tropical island so I can write my great American novel."
The genie says," No problem and poof he's gone.
The art director says,"I want to create a beautiful painting and hang it in the museum in Paris."
The genie says,"Your wish is granted." and poof, he was gone.
The genie asks the account executive,"And what is your wish?"
The account executive says,"I want those two jerks back here right now."
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Finger nails
Eat for the health of it.
Did you ever think that your finger nails could reveal a lot about you? I'm forever snagging mine. They seem to grow really fast and then you snag them on something and you feel you have to trim them all off to all look alike. Mine do grow really fast and then I snag them, so I am cutting them once a week.Pink nails indicate they are healthy. A very pail or blue or nails streaked with white is really not healthy.
Some people like to use artificial nails but watch how long you leave them on, your nails don't like that and they can look pretty bad. If you are doing a lot of cleaning and putting your hands in the water a lot, you really should use rubber gloves.
Eat your protein, use calcium, vitamin B, possibly zinc and iron. It would be best to have a blood test to see what vitamins you may need.
It is best to eat all natural foods and your system usually gets what it needs. One way to find out how to eat all natural is to use my all natural cookbook, GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. Available at: www.dorrancepublishing.com, phone # 1-800-788-7654. Abebooks.com, Books-a-million.com, BarnsandNoble.com.
Laughter is healthy:
Two hunters are in the woods and the one guy collapses. His friend checks his pulse and he has none. He calls the emergency service and they ask him what his problem is.
My friend has collapsed and he is dead, what should I do?
The operator says,"Calm down, I can help you but first of all we have to make sure he is dead."
There is a silence, then a gun shot.
The guy gets back on the phone and says, "Okay, now what?"
Did you ever think that your finger nails could reveal a lot about you? I'm forever snagging mine. They seem to grow really fast and then you snag them on something and you feel you have to trim them all off to all look alike. Mine do grow really fast and then I snag them, so I am cutting them once a week.Pink nails indicate they are healthy. A very pail or blue or nails streaked with white is really not healthy.
Some people like to use artificial nails but watch how long you leave them on, your nails don't like that and they can look pretty bad. If you are doing a lot of cleaning and putting your hands in the water a lot, you really should use rubber gloves.
Eat your protein, use calcium, vitamin B, possibly zinc and iron. It would be best to have a blood test to see what vitamins you may need.
It is best to eat all natural foods and your system usually gets what it needs. One way to find out how to eat all natural is to use my all natural cookbook, GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. Available at: www.dorrancepublishing.com, phone # 1-800-788-7654. Abebooks.com, Books-a-million.com, BarnsandNoble.com.
Laughter is healthy:
Two hunters are in the woods and the one guy collapses. His friend checks his pulse and he has none. He calls the emergency service and they ask him what his problem is.
My friend has collapsed and he is dead, what should I do?
The operator says,"Calm down, I can help you but first of all we have to make sure he is dead."
There is a silence, then a gun shot.
The guy gets back on the phone and says, "Okay, now what?"
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Bad breathe from eating garlic
Eat for the health of it.
I like garlic and it is really good for you but man when you eat it, it can stay for a couple of days. Well fear no more, after you enjoy your meal with some garlic in it just drink a glass of milk afterwards and wala, it's gone.
If you are looking for a good all natural cookbook please try: GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. Please phone at:#1-800-788-7654,www.dorrancepublisihing.com.
Laughter is healthy:
A musician calls the symphony office to talk to the conductor.
"I'm sorry he's dead," came the reply.
The musician calls back twenty five times, always getting the same reply. She finally asks," He's dead, why do you keep calling?"
"I just like to hear you say it."
I know it's a bad one but I am tired and gotta go to bed.
I like garlic and it is really good for you but man when you eat it, it can stay for a couple of days. Well fear no more, after you enjoy your meal with some garlic in it just drink a glass of milk afterwards and wala, it's gone.
If you are looking for a good all natural cookbook please try: GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. Please phone at:#1-800-788-7654,www.dorrancepublisihing.com.
Laughter is healthy:
A musician calls the symphony office to talk to the conductor.
"I'm sorry he's dead," came the reply.
The musician calls back twenty five times, always getting the same reply. She finally asks," He's dead, why do you keep calling?"
"I just like to hear you say it."
I know it's a bad one but I am tired and gotta go to bed.
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