Tuesday, October 11, 2011

just a joke tonight

Eat for the health of it.

An older couple sitting on the loveseat and the wife says,"Dear, do you remember when we used to sit close and we held hands?"

He moves over close to her and takes her hand in his.

"Dear,do you remember when you always held me tight?"

He puts his arms around her and he squeezes her.

She continues,"Do you remember when you would nibble on my ear as you held me tight?"

The husband stands up and starts to walk away.

She asks, "Where are you going?"

"I have to go to the bathroom to get my teeth."

Sunday, September 25, 2011

just a joke tonight

Eat for the health of it.

Joke only tonight.


A twenty year old gal marries an eighty five year old man. On there wedding night the bride decides that because of the age difference that they would sleep better if they slept in different rooms.

After the wedding party was over they went to their seperate rooms and as she is getting ready for bed, a knock comes to the door. It's her new husband and he is ready for some love making. He finishes and leaves the room and she gets ready for bed. She is just about to sleep when a knock comes to the door again and it is her husband, back for more love making.

Again she accepts his advances and she is satisfied and he again leaves the room and the young bride is tired and returns to her bed. She is about to sleep when another knock comes to the door and she gets up to see who is there . Once again it is her husband and he wants to make love again. Again they make love and are both satisfied.

As they are lying there side by side, the young bride says,"I am really impressed with your love making, I can't believe that you have the stamina of a man half your age...you're really great."

The guy turns to her and asks,"Have I been here before?"

Friday, September 23, 2011

Healthy foods verses supermarket

Eat for the health of it.

Have you ever been concerned about sugar? You always hear things but you don't want to believe it. White sugar is bleached with a chemical and to me it's like poison because when I eat bleached white sugar I break out from the bleaching agent in the sugar that makes it white. Now I buy and use unbleached sugar. It's great for cooking and baking and I like it too because there are no bleaching agents in it. The only problem is that when you try to make lemonade or lemon meringue pie, it makes the lemonade or the lemon pie taste different and it will have a different kinda tan color to it. That's simple to fix; I just buy Xylitol from the health food store and make the lemonade or the lemon pie with the Xylitol and you will love it too.

Sugar from the health food store; called whole organic sugar. Ingredients:whole refined evaporated cane juice, squeezed dry and ground. It is dried in it's whole state; a living food and an excellent source of energy and the molasses is not separated from the sugar streams, thereby they do not bleach the granuals to make them snow white. If they would use unbleached sugar in everything that calls for sugar; people wouldn't get sick, like being diabetic. Therefor it isn't the sugar that is bad for you, it's the bleaching agents and the bleaching process that is really the culprit here. Try using more unbleached sugar. Also Xylitol, this is naturally white and safe.

Sugar from the supermarket should really have a label on it that says: This sugar has been grown chemically, highly processed, using chemicals and stripped of all of its nutritional value. Although it looks nice it has been stripped of any food value and has become a dangerous addictive food.

Please try my all natural cookbook: GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. Available at:www.dorrancepublishing.com, www.books-a-million.com, www.barnesandNoble.com and most book stores will order it for you if you give them the name of the book and the ISBN#.

Laughter is healthy:

A couple was dining in a fine restaurant when all of a sudden the man slides down and under the table. The woman seemed so unconcerned. The waitress not paying attention to the guy that just walked in the door was headed straight for the table where this lady sat. The waitress walked up to the lady seated at the table and said,"Excuse me Ma'am, I think your husband just slid under the table."

Unconcerned the lady said,"No he didn't, he just walked in the door."

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Healthy food verses supermarket brands

Eat for the health of it.

Organic Mayonaise at the Health Food Store, ingredients:Expeller pressed soybean oil, organic eggs, filtered water, pure honey, organic vinegar, sea salt, organic dry mustard and organic lemon juice.

On the other hand:

Supermarket: Product name: Miracle Whip Mayonaise. Ingredients: Water, soybean oil, vinegar, high fructose corn syrup, eggs, sugar, modified food starch,salt, mustard flower, artificial color, potassium sorbate, paprika, spices, natural flavors and dried garlic.

High Fructose Corn Syrup is poison to me; if I eat a little bit of it, it makes me break out with a horrible and painful rash that will last for days. I don't think they should put it in any food, especially babies food.

It would help get some of these products off the market if people would check ingredients and just buy the food that is all natural.

If you want to learn more about eating all natural, please try my all natural cookbook: GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. It is available at: www.dorrancepublishing.com, phone number 1-800-788-7654.
Also available at: www.abebooks.com, www.barnsandNoble.com, www.books-a-million.com.
And you may order from most bookstores and they will order them in for you. Just give them the ISBN# and the name of the book.

Laughter is healthy:

An over weight man decides that he is too much overweight and he decides that his favorite food he will have to give up, which is donuts from the bakery. He drives past the bakery and notices that his favorite coffee cake is in the window. He prays,"Lord, if you want me to have that delicious coffee cake please let there be a parking spot right in front of the bakery." And sure enough there was a parking spot right in front of the bakery, the eight trip around the block.

Monday, September 19, 2011

health foods verses supermarket foods

Eat for the health of it.

Sugar from the healthfood store: Product name is Whole Organic Sugar. They take sugar cane and squeeze the juicew out it and let it dry.It is a safe chemical free sweetener, not like the Supermarket white bleached sugar; using dangerous chemicals.I had to find out the hard way that white sugar has a bleaching agent, when I broke out with a terrible rash and going through the process of elimination; I found out that sugar is bleached. Why would anyone put any kind of bleaching agent in any of our food? I suffered a lot before I found this out so I hope this will help anyone that may have a reaction like itchy rashes or hives, then you will have to go throught the process of elimination. It could be other things too. Before I found out for sure on some of the chemicals I had to eat rice or mashed potatoes until I cleared up. And then if you clear up then eat just one food each day, and watch for any skin erruptions. The problem is today that they put so many chemicals in anything they process. It may be hard to detect which one so you would be better off with organic foods. GOOD LUCK!!!

Please try my all natural cookbook GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOK BOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7 Available at www.dorrancpublishing.com, 1-800-788-7654. www.books-a-million.com, www.Abebooks.com, Most book stores will order for you if you give them the title and the ISBN#

Sorry no joke tonight, I have to go to bed. TOOO tired.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

just a joke tonight

Eat for the health of it.

It all began when I bought my son an IPHONE for his birthday. He loved it.

My wife bought me an IPad for my birthday and that made me very happy.

My daughter got an IPOD TOUCH for her birthday and she was pleased.

So when my wife celebrated her birthday, I bought her an IRON- I thought it would go good with her IWASH- ICOOK and ICLEAN. I was wrong. I should be out of the hospital as soon as I am able to walk.

Friday, September 2, 2011

just a joke

Eat for the health of it.

On the first day, back to school, the dean tells the class:The female dorms will be off limits to all male students and the male dorms are off limits to all the girl students. Furthermore, anyone caught breaking these rules will be fined $20 for the first offense, $60 for the second offense and if you are caught the third time, , your fine will be $180. Any questions?

A male student in the back row asks,"How much for a season pass?"