Eat for the health of it.
An attorney gets home late from work after spending the day trying to get a stay of execution for his client, he was worn out and depressed. His wife had thoughts of him cheating on her and begins to question him,"Where were you? Why are you so late? Now your dinner is cold."
He ignores her; pours himself a drink and goes upstairs to take a shower. The phone rings while he is upstairs and his wife takes the message."Tell your husband that they are not hanging Jim Wright tonight. The judge ordered a stay of execution."
His wife feels bad that she was so hard on him after having a long day. She runs upstairs and opens the bathroom door and finds her husband bent over drying his feet and legs.
She quickly tells him,"They are not hanging Wright tonight."
He whirled around and yelled,"for cripes sake woman can you think of anything else to complain about?"
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Are you planning a trip to the mountains?
Eat for the health of it.
If you are going into the mountains for the first time, you may want to try spending a half day at a time until you adjust to the altitude. If you have flown a few times it may not bother you if you passed that with flying colors.
If this is your first time and you experience flu like symptoms, shortness of breath, headaches and nausea, loss of appetite, it could be from the altitude.You may want to go back to the lower grounds and start again the next day. Drink plenty of liquids. Be sure to eat good too. Don't smoke. If you experience a constant cough, vomit or become confused, dizzy or short of breath, get medical care, you could get a buildup of fluid in your lungs or brain.
I am hoping that you will eat all natural and stick with healthy foods all the time for better health. If you don't really know what is all natural I would like you to try my all natural cookbook: GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK by Teresa Thompson, ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. It is available at: www.dorrancepublishing.com, phone number is: 1-800-788-7654. It is available at Bassettes Healthfood store in Toledo, Ohio on Secor road between Sylvania Avenue and Executive Parkway. It is also available at:BarnsandNoble.com, Books-a-million.com. Amazonbooks.com and Abebooks.com. This makes a nice gift for any occasion and especially for someone that has allergies or just wants to eat healthy.
Another book that is very interesting to read is: 'Under Obligation' by Trishianna Rose Roberts,ISBN#1-58736-601-0 available at: www.wheatmark.com, abebooks.com, Books-a-million.com ISBN#978-1587366010 and BarnesandNoble.com ISBN#978-1587366010.
Laughter is healthy:
A man goes to the barber shop for a shave. As the barber is lathering his face with the foam, he mentions that he always has a hard time getting a close shave around his cheeks.
"I have just the thing for that," says the barber. He hands him a small round wooden ball and tells him, "Just place this ball between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber gives him the closest shave he has ever had.
After awhile the client asked in his garbled speech,"What if I swallow this?"
"No problem, just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
If you are going into the mountains for the first time, you may want to try spending a half day at a time until you adjust to the altitude. If you have flown a few times it may not bother you if you passed that with flying colors.
If this is your first time and you experience flu like symptoms, shortness of breath, headaches and nausea, loss of appetite, it could be from the altitude.You may want to go back to the lower grounds and start again the next day. Drink plenty of liquids. Be sure to eat good too. Don't smoke. If you experience a constant cough, vomit or become confused, dizzy or short of breath, get medical care, you could get a buildup of fluid in your lungs or brain.
I am hoping that you will eat all natural and stick with healthy foods all the time for better health. If you don't really know what is all natural I would like you to try my all natural cookbook: GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK by Teresa Thompson, ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. It is available at: www.dorrancepublishing.com, phone number is: 1-800-788-7654. It is available at Bassettes Healthfood store in Toledo, Ohio on Secor road between Sylvania Avenue and Executive Parkway. It is also available at:BarnsandNoble.com, Books-a-million.com. Amazonbooks.com and Abebooks.com. This makes a nice gift for any occasion and especially for someone that has allergies or just wants to eat healthy.
Another book that is very interesting to read is: 'Under Obligation' by Trishianna Rose Roberts,ISBN#1-58736-601-0 available at: www.wheatmark.com, abebooks.com, Books-a-million.com ISBN#978-1587366010 and BarnesandNoble.com ISBN#978-1587366010.
Laughter is healthy:
A man goes to the barber shop for a shave. As the barber is lathering his face with the foam, he mentions that he always has a hard time getting a close shave around his cheeks.
"I have just the thing for that," says the barber. He hands him a small round wooden ball and tells him, "Just place this ball between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber gives him the closest shave he has ever had.
After awhile the client asked in his garbled speech,"What if I swallow this?"
"No problem, just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
Monday, February 14, 2011
just time for a joke
Eat for the health of it.
Several men were sitting in the locker room and suddenly a phone on the bench begins to ring. A man picks it up and says,"Hello?"
"Honey, it's me, are you at the gym?"
"Yes."
"I'm at the mall and I saw this beautiful mink coat. Can I please buy it?"
"How much is it?"
"$1500."
"Okay, if you like it that much."
"I also saw that Mercedes at the dealership and it's got a really good price on it."
"How much?"
"Only $60,000."
"Okay, but make sure it has all the options."
"One more thing,I stopped at the real estate office and that house we looked at is marked down to $350,000."
"Go ahead and get it."
"Okay dear, I'll see you at home."
The guy hangs up and asks, "Does anyone here own this phone?"
Several men were sitting in the locker room and suddenly a phone on the bench begins to ring. A man picks it up and says,"Hello?"
"Honey, it's me, are you at the gym?"
"Yes."
"I'm at the mall and I saw this beautiful mink coat. Can I please buy it?"
"How much is it?"
"$1500."
"Okay, if you like it that much."
"I also saw that Mercedes at the dealership and it's got a really good price on it."
"How much?"
"Only $60,000."
"Okay, but make sure it has all the options."
"One more thing,I stopped at the real estate office and that house we looked at is marked down to $350,000."
"Go ahead and get it."
"Okay dear, I'll see you at home."
The guy hangs up and asks, "Does anyone here own this phone?"
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Just time for a joke
Eat for the health of it.
The husband is met by his sobbing wife as he opens the door and enters. She is upset as she tells him,"The pharmacist was nasty to me and I have been upset all day."
Immediately the husband drives to the drugstore and confronts the pharmacist.
The pharmacist explains," Please listen to my side of the story. This morning my alarm failed to go off,so I was late.I left without breakfast and in my hurry, I left the keys in the house and the door was locked and I couldn't get back into the house to get the car keys. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving too fast to get to work I got a speeding ticket. Three blocks from work I got a flat tire. I was met at the door with several people waiting for me to open up. Then the phone was ringing constantly. When I was making change for a customer I had to break open a roll of nickles and they spilled on the floor and as I was on the floor picking up the nickles the phone rang and I bumped my head on the drawer and that caused me to stagger and I backed into a shelf of perfume and they fell on the floor and broke two of the best perfumes. The phone was still ringing and when I answered it and it was your wife and she asked me how to use the rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I told her."
The husband is met by his sobbing wife as he opens the door and enters. She is upset as she tells him,"The pharmacist was nasty to me and I have been upset all day."
Immediately the husband drives to the drugstore and confronts the pharmacist.
The pharmacist explains," Please listen to my side of the story. This morning my alarm failed to go off,so I was late.I left without breakfast and in my hurry, I left the keys in the house and the door was locked and I couldn't get back into the house to get the car keys. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving too fast to get to work I got a speeding ticket. Three blocks from work I got a flat tire. I was met at the door with several people waiting for me to open up. Then the phone was ringing constantly. When I was making change for a customer I had to break open a roll of nickles and they spilled on the floor and as I was on the floor picking up the nickles the phone rang and I bumped my head on the drawer and that caused me to stagger and I backed into a shelf of perfume and they fell on the floor and broke two of the best perfumes. The phone was still ringing and when I answered it and it was your wife and she asked me how to use the rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I told her."
Joke only
Eat for the health of it.
God is looking down on earth and He sees all of the rascally behavior that is going on. He decides to send an angel down to check it out.
When the angel returns, he tells God, "Yes, it is bad on earth, 95% of the people are misbehaving and 5% are not."
God thinks for a moment and decides to send another angel to get a second opinion.
When the second angel returns and verifies what the first angel tells Him, "Yes, the earth has declined, 95% are misbehaving and 5% are still good."
God is not pleased, so he emails the 5% to encourage them to keep up the good work.
Do you know what the email said? I didn't get one either.
God is looking down on earth and He sees all of the rascally behavior that is going on. He decides to send an angel down to check it out.
When the angel returns, he tells God, "Yes, it is bad on earth, 95% of the people are misbehaving and 5% are not."
God thinks for a moment and decides to send another angel to get a second opinion.
When the second angel returns and verifies what the first angel tells Him, "Yes, the earth has declined, 95% are misbehaving and 5% are still good."
God is not pleased, so he emails the 5% to encourage them to keep up the good work.
Do you know what the email said? I didn't get one either.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Do you have acne?
Eat for the health of it.
Whiteheads are plugged pores. Do not squeeze them. Sgueezing causes inflamation. If the pimple has already gotten an infection and has turned yellow from the puss, take a warm wet washcloth and place it on the area for a few minutes and then take a sterilzed needle and prick it and sqeeze the pus out using a tissue or a gauze. It should heal but it may take some time.
Blackheads are plugs of oil and should not be squeezed. This can cause scarring. You can remove blackheads with an extractor that you can buy at a drugstore. Again you should place a warm wet washcloth on the area first.
Try to control blemishes with medicated lotions.Try benzoyl peroxide. Don't leave it on too long or it may irritate the skin and just cover the affected area. You can leave it on for maybe an hour or so then wash it off.
Use a hypoallergenic moisturizer. Also use hypoallergenic makeup and suntan lotion.
Eating good all natural foods will also help keep a smooth skin and if you eat all natural it will also keep you looking younger.
You can learn to eat all natural from my all natural cookbook, GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. Available at: www.dorrancepublishing.com, Phone # 1-800-788-7654, Available at Bassettes Healthfood store in Toledo, Ohio on Secor Road between Sylvania Avenue and Executive Parkway. Also available at: Books-a-million.com, BarnsandNoble.com.
Laughter is healthy:
This young woman went to confession and told the priest, "Father, I have sinned."
The priest told her,"Go ahead and tell me your sins."
The young lady said,"Last night my boyfriend and I made mad passionate love seven times."
The priest said," I want you to go home and squeeze 7 lemons and I want you to drink the juice."
The young lady asked, "Father, will this cleanse me of my sins?"
The priest answered,"No, but it will wipe that smile off your face."
Whiteheads are plugged pores. Do not squeeze them. Sgueezing causes inflamation. If the pimple has already gotten an infection and has turned yellow from the puss, take a warm wet washcloth and place it on the area for a few minutes and then take a sterilzed needle and prick it and sqeeze the pus out using a tissue or a gauze. It should heal but it may take some time.
Blackheads are plugs of oil and should not be squeezed. This can cause scarring. You can remove blackheads with an extractor that you can buy at a drugstore. Again you should place a warm wet washcloth on the area first.
Try to control blemishes with medicated lotions.Try benzoyl peroxide. Don't leave it on too long or it may irritate the skin and just cover the affected area. You can leave it on for maybe an hour or so then wash it off.
Use a hypoallergenic moisturizer. Also use hypoallergenic makeup and suntan lotion.
Eating good all natural foods will also help keep a smooth skin and if you eat all natural it will also keep you looking younger.
You can learn to eat all natural from my all natural cookbook, GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. Available at: www.dorrancepublishing.com, Phone # 1-800-788-7654, Available at Bassettes Healthfood store in Toledo, Ohio on Secor Road between Sylvania Avenue and Executive Parkway. Also available at: Books-a-million.com, BarnsandNoble.com.
Laughter is healthy:
This young woman went to confession and told the priest, "Father, I have sinned."
The priest told her,"Go ahead and tell me your sins."
The young lady said,"Last night my boyfriend and I made mad passionate love seven times."
The priest said," I want you to go home and squeeze 7 lemons and I want you to drink the juice."
The young lady asked, "Father, will this cleanse me of my sins?"
The priest answered,"No, but it will wipe that smile off your face."
just a joke tonight
Eat for the health of it.
This guy goes into a bar and notices a large jar and it's filled with money on the end of the bar. He asks the bartender what the jar is for. The bartender says,"you have to pay $10 and then you have to do three things and if you can do them you will get the money in the jar and a new car. The guy thinks, that would be great, then asks the bartender,"What do I have to do?" The bartender says, "You have to pay the money first." The guy agrees and asks,"Now what do I do?"
The bartender tells him that he has to drink a bottle of tequila, then there is a Pitt bull chained in the back yard and he has a bad tooth and he will have to pull the tooth and third; there is a ninty year old virgin upstairs and he would have to take care of her needs.
The guy drinks the bottle of tequila; there is a lot of noise coming from the back of the bar and after awhile the guy comes in all scratched and bitten, he asks,"Now where is that old lady that needs a tooth pulled?"
This guy goes into a bar and notices a large jar and it's filled with money on the end of the bar. He asks the bartender what the jar is for. The bartender says,"you have to pay $10 and then you have to do three things and if you can do them you will get the money in the jar and a new car. The guy thinks, that would be great, then asks the bartender,"What do I have to do?" The bartender says, "You have to pay the money first." The guy agrees and asks,"Now what do I do?"
The bartender tells him that he has to drink a bottle of tequila, then there is a Pitt bull chained in the back yard and he has a bad tooth and he will have to pull the tooth and third; there is a ninty year old virgin upstairs and he would have to take care of her needs.
The guy drinks the bottle of tequila; there is a lot of noise coming from the back of the bar and after awhile the guy comes in all scratched and bitten, he asks,"Now where is that old lady that needs a tooth pulled?"
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