Thursday, January 27, 2011

do you have dandruff of the eyelids?

Eat for the health of it.

No, this isn't a joke. If you have never heard of this before, it is a red and scaly condition, it is believed to be brought on by dandruff and is a form of eczema. If you have this and cannot get to a doctor right away, treat it with warm water and soap twice a day. You can also go to the drugstore and get a dandruff shampoo with zinc pyrithione as an active ingredient. Be sure to keep this shampoo out of the eyes.
This can be brought on by food allergies too so you may have to find out what you are allergic to. This is when you stop eating all foods that could cause an allergy (and that can be a lot of things). If you have read my book it tells how I had to eliminate almost all foods, then you start out by eating rice, then add another food, like poatoes, or some thing that you don't normally eat. Fruits and vegetables are good to add, of course some people may be allergic to citric acid too. Mainly stick to all natural foods because you don't want to eat processed foods because they have artificial ingredients and that could be your problem. I've been there.

You might want to try my all natural cookbook, GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. Please order at: 1-800-788-7654 or www.dorrancepublishing.com, Abebooks.com, BarnsandNoble.com, Books-a-million.com.

Laughter is healthy:

Ethal was on a cruise ship and she sits at the bar and orders a scotch with 2 drops of water. As the bartender brings her drink she tells him that she is eighty years old today and she is celebrating her birthday by going on this cruise.

The bartender says,"Well, since it's your birthday, this drink is on me."

The lady sitting next to her waits until she has finished her drink and she tells the bartender to bring the lady another drink for her birthday.

The old lady thanks her and tells the bartender, "I'll have a scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming right up ma'am."
As she finishes her drink, the man to her right says,"Bring this lady a drink."
The old lady thanked him and tells the bartender, "bring me another scotch with 2 drops of water".
The bartender obliges and as he hands her the drink he asks,"Ma'am, I am dying of curiosity, why only two drops of water?"

The old lady replies," Sonny, when you get my age, you will learn that you can hold your liquor but you can't hold your water."

Ear wax

Eat for the health of it.

If you are having difficulty hearing, you should have your ears checked, they may be full of wax. If you don't have time to see a doctor try putting hydrogen peroxide, glycerine or mineral oil in the ears for two or three days then wash the ears out with warm water(with a suringe) or you can stand in the shower and let the water in your ears too.Don't use Q-tips or you will push the wax in farther.

Try my all natural cookbook GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. Please order at: www.dorrancepublishing.com, or phone at:1-800-788-7654 or you may order at: Amazonbooks.com, Abebooks.com, Books-a-million.com, BarnesandNoble.com.

Laughter is healthy:

A man is telling his friend, "I had it all-money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman and then POW! It was all gone."
His friend is listening and exclaims,"My word man, what happened?"
"My wife found out."

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Just a joke tonight

Eat for the health of it.

Jack's wife was after him for three days to paint the toilet seat, tired of her nagging he gets up early the next morning and paints the seat, then he goes outside to putter on some other projects he has to get done. It was a special paint that dries quickly and of course Jack didn't think his wife would get up and use the toilet before it dried, but this morning she got up early and sat on the toilet seat but when she tried to get off the seat she found herself stuck fast.

Sometime later Jack comes in to use the bathroom and finds his wife stuck fast to the toilet seat. As much as he tried nothing seemed to work so he loosened the toilet seat and hauled her off to the hospital. As the attending physician tried to help her out of this situation the woman asks the doctor."I'll bet you never saw anything like this before?"

The doctor answered her,"Actually, I have seen a lot of them but never mounted.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

just a joke

Eat for the health of it.

One evening a father asks his 10 year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.
He replied, "I don't want to know."

His father asked,"Why not?"

"Because, when I was six, you told me there wasn't really an Easter bunny." Then he went on, "when I was seven, you told me their really wasn't a tooth fairy, then when I was eight you told me there wasn't a Santa, now if you tell me that grownups don't get laid, I have nothing to live for."

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

do you have sinus problems?

Eat for the health of it.

I have had sinus problems for some time now but if I remember to use my netti pot I seem to do pretty well with it. You can buy a netti pot at a drugstore or a healthfood store. They come with a packet of medication or probably a type of salt to add to the warm water, then you pour it into one nostril and it comes out the other, then do the other side. Now my netti pot didn't have the ingredients in the box, I am assuming that someone had taken it out or it was never packed in with the pot. I just use sea salt. I just place a pinch of the sea salt into the pot and stir it a bit and use it. Try it, it really works. Even if you feel better, keep using it maybe once or twice a week. Follow the instructions that come with it.

I would like you to try my all natural cookbook, GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. Please order at: www.dorrancepublishing.com. Phone at: 1-800-788-7654 or you may order at:Books-a-million.com or BarnsandNoble.com, Amazonbooks.com.


Laughter is healthy:

A doctor and a Baptist minister were seated together on a plane. There was a delay so they were offering free drinks. A very attractive stewardess comes around and asks the doctor if he would like a drink. He answers, "Yes, I'll take a gin and tonic." The flight attendant hands him the drink and then she asks the minister if he would like a drink as well. The minister answers,"Oh No! I would rather commit adultery than drink alcohol."

The doctor promptly hands the gin and tonic back to the attendant and says,"Madame, I didn't know there was a choice."

Sunday, January 16, 2011

only time for a joke

Eat for the health of it.

At least a joke.

An elderly fellow goes to the doctor and as he enters the waiting room, which is filled with people and the receptionist, who looks like a Sumo wrestler, bellows out to the guy,"Oh yes, you're the guy who is having trouble with impotence, right?

The guy is ticked at the ignorance of this woman, so he answers her,"No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation, but I don't want the doctor that did yours."

Everyone applauded.

Friday, January 14, 2011

If you are having bouts with vomiting

Eat for the health of it.

Recently a friend said his wife was having problems vomiting and was losing a lot of weight. Naturally I remembered what I had read about repeated vomiting. Try drinking juices from pears, guava, mango and papaya. That should help. Also eat the fruit if nothing else will stay down. Stay away from acidic fruits,like citris fruits and juices.


Please try my all natural cookbook GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. Please order at: www.dorrancepublishing.com, or phone at: 1-800-788-7654. Also available at: Books-a-million.com and BarnsandNoble.com.

Laughter is healthy:

These two guys are camping and during the night the one guy nudges his companion and says, "Hey buddy, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

His buddy says,"I see the stars in the sky, millions of stars and a few of those have planets and I imagine that some of those planets have life."

"But why can you see the stars?" he asks.

"Because it's dark out."

"No, you idiot,somebody stole our tent."

Thursday, January 13, 2011

helpful hint only tonight

Eat for the health of it.

Good exercise,

With a five# potato bag in each hand, stand straight and tall and extend arms straight out from your sides hold as long as you can; try to reach a full minute.

Each day try a little longer.

After a couple of weeks move up to a 10# potato bag, and repeat.

Then move to a 50# potato bag and then to a 100# potato bag, and repeat exercise.

After you feel confident at that level, place a potato in each bag.

I'm sorry, I forgot to put just a joke in the title area.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Are you troubled with vaginal infections?

Eat for the health of it.

If you are troubled with vaginal infections you should try eating seafood like, sardines, squid and octipus and all types of fish and keep active. People that keep working and moving about have less infections. And eat plenty of all natural foods.

If you need a good all natural cookbook please try GRANDMA'S BACK TO BASICS ALL NATURAL MORE THAN JUST A COOKBOOK ISBN#0-8059-6286-7. You can purchase it at www.dorrancepublishing.com or by phone at: 1-800-788-7654. Or you may order at: Books-a-million.com, BarnsandNoble.com, Amazonbooks.com and Abebooks.com.

Laughter is healthy:

A lady tree hugger, anti hunter, from Los Angeles, purchased a piece of property near Calville, WA. She climbed a large tree to view her property and as she reached near the top she had an encounter with a spotted owl. To get away from the owl she slid down the tree and ended up with splinters in her crotch. She was in severe pain as she drove herself to the hospital. She explained that she was an environmentalist and an anti hunter. The doctor listened as she explained everything and he said he would be back shortly. She sat and waited three hours for him to return. The woman asked,"What the heck took you so long?"

He smiled and told her, "Well, I had to go to the EPA for permits for the Forest Services Bureau of Land Management before I could remove 'old growth' timber from a 'recreation area'so close to a waste treatment facility."

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Just a joke tonight

Eat for the health of it.

This man is sitting at the dinner table reading his paper when his wife swats him aside his head.

"What the heck was that for?" he asks.

"That was for the piece of paper I found in your pants pocket from Mary Lou."

"Don't you remember the night I went to the races? The horse I bet on was Mary Lou."

Feeling a bit bad for hitting him, she kissed him and left for work.

A few days later she hits him again.

"Now what was that for?"

"Your horse called today."

Friday, January 7, 2011

best to drink warm water

Eat for the health of it.

Do you drink cold water with your meals? It's really better if you drink hot tea with your meals because the cold water will solidify the oily stuff and slow down digestion. This sludge then will will react with the acids and break down and be absorbed by the intestines, turn into fat and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot or warm tea with your meals like the Japanese do. I think the Chinese do that too because I always get the hot tea with my meal.

Laughter is healthy:

A man is drunk and in no shape to drive home so he leaves his car parked in the lot and starts to walk home. A policeman comes along and notices that he is weaving around.
The policeman asks the drunk,"What are you doing out here at 2:00 AM.?"
"I am going to a lecture," he answered.
"And who is giving the lecture at this hour?" the cop asks.
"My wife," says the drunk.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

a comment and a joke

Eat for the health of it.

About the water and chewing the inside of my mouth. I think that I am right about the water. If you are having this problem, try drinking more water. I think it is working for me.

Laughter is healthy:

Johnnie and Suzy ran into each other after church. They spoke to one another and little Johnnie asked Suzy where she was going.

Suzy answered."I am going home from church.Where are you going?"

Johnnie replies, "I am going home to. Where do you go to church?"

"I go to the Catholic church on the hill."

"Well, I go to the Lutheran Church on the hill."

"I will meet you here next Sunday and we can walk together."

"OK."

The next Sunday they met at the same place and before they started up the hill, there was a stream that formed from the heavy rain the night before.

As they both stood watching the water running in the stream,Suzy said, "I don't know about you but my mother will be really mad if I get this new dress all wet."

Johnnie answered,"My mother will be ticked off too if I get this new suit wet."

Suzy thought for a minute and said,"Well. I am going to take my clothes off and hold it above my head until I cross the stream."

Little Johnnie said, "That's a good idea, I'll take my clothes off and do the same thing."

They crossed the stream and as they got to the other side, Johnnie looked at Suzy and said,"I never new there was that much difference between a Catholic and a Lutheran."

I know that's pretty bad, but I didn't have anything else ready and i am going to bed.